So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
