She's JV to your varsity
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
