I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
