hell yes lets make some ravioli
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
