There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
