he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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