4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
