Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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