Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
