I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
