Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
please don't ironically join a cult
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