Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
