You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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