If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
