When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
