She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
