For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
