i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
