So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
