i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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