I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
