hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
