I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
