my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
