Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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