"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
