You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
