Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
