Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
