but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
