Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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