Umm I'm too high to move.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
