the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
