Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
