I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize