wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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