I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
