He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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