I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
