She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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