I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
