Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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