Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
