Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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