no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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