So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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