you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
