Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Randomize
