everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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