Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
