Just fell off a train. Bad.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Randomize
